Your eyes are glued to their table wishing you were part of the fun; achingly wishing this was you and your girlfriends.

Reality sets in. You’re miles and miles away from your girlfriends. They’re scattered all over the country, even the world. You’ve been away yourself, busy traveling. Having a dinner table full of girlfriends seems an impossibility. Oh, just to have even one girlfriend within wine-glass vicinity to you would be great.

This was my reality last night. Solo traveling for business with no desire for room service, I ventured into the hotel restaurant for dinner and a glass of wine. I came with my journal to make a few notes. I left with a longing to call every one of my girlfriends.

With us getting more global and the world getting flatter, we often have more friends in other cities and countries than we do in the town we live in. That makes the friendship bonding time even more challenging.

Here are a few ideas on how to keep in touch across the miles and miles and miles:

• Send a Hello via Facebook, Twitter or your social media of choice.
• Write a letter – yes, a real letter with stationery! When’s the last time you’ve done that?
• Create a video (use your smartphone, small video camera or your computer’s camera) and share with your friend what you’d be telling her if she was with you in person.
• Have a video chat with a girlfriend using Skype or ooVoo.
• Better yet, if you’re on Google+, start a Hangout! Hangouts are great for either planned or spontaneous video chats with multiple friends.
• Set a date and time for a mani/pedi (yes, even though you’re in different cities) and have a phone call together while you’re both pampered and polished (bring a headset so as not to mess up those beautiful polished fingernails!)
• BYOB – Each enjoy a bottle of wine over a phone call
• Plan a gals’ weekend at a spa, cruise, hotel, campground – whatever works for you, your friends your tastes and budgets.
• Create an annual ritual – maybe a wine tasting adventure in a new part of the world each year, or a pajama party taking turns hosting the event at each other’s homes.
  A group of us girlfriends are doing a 39-mile Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in New York City in October if you’d like to join us or be there to cheer us on!
  I’m also thinking an Annual Smart Women Travelers Weekend sure sounds like fun – any ideas for where to go and what to do?

And what perfect timing to talk about girlfriends – it’s National Girlfriends Day on August 1^st.

So when you’re unwinding tonight after another crazy-busy day, grab your journal and list what you love about your girlfriends and the ways you’ll connect with them. Then get moving! I’ll definitely be doing the same!

Cheers to all of you, my friends!

They all offer business lessons to be shared, challenges of competing in an international environment, opportunities to forge new relationships and a business travel environment like no other.

Oh, did I mention that they’re all in France? And that they are a part of The Ultimate Wine Fantasy Experience? Yes, really.

Leadership, marketing, communication skills, motivation, client retention and pricing were the topics of today. Ok, the topics were interspersed with a few glasses of wine and the venues for these discussions may not be the norm. However, these business discussions and sharing of ideas are amazingly interesting and impactful. And of course you know how important relationship building is. The relationships are already growing strong after 24 hours of our group being together. After a week of sharing wine, amazing food, history and business ideas, these relationships (and memories) will last a lifetime.

Today we started with a visit to a chateau and a not-seen-by-the-public tour by Count Stephan and Max, the chateau’s Black Lab.Along with amazing tastings of wine, we learned of smart business tactics that have resulted in the wine estate being in the top 10 in the Saint Emilion wine region. My favorite lesson learned is the method in which the Count recognizes that the grapes are ready for harvest. The method is not very high tech, but is very accurate in its simplicity.

It’s all up to Max, you see. He routinely chases rabbits through the 65-year old vines.

When he has one of his rabbit chases in the fall season and returns back home with stickiness on his fur, it’s time! It is the stickiness from the juice of the grapes that is the magic sign that the grapes are ready for the all-important harvest. Sometimes it’s the low tech methods, tried and true, that are better than all the advanced technology in the world.
In the middle of the day, while utterly enjoying a picnic lunch under a bright blue sky alongside the chateau’s grapes, we learned some of the struggles of a new business. The chateau owner, host and chef of our lunch, began his winery along with his parents in 2006 — a very new business by French wine standards. He left a career in finance for the love of the vine. Topics of moving from a salaried career to entrepreneurship, imports to European and African countries, how to provide a quality product in a mid-price range and the struggles of a family business were shared over bottles of wine, incredible food and scenery that was jaw-dropping.

After lunch we wandered through the streets of the 2nd century village of Saint Emilion, a village with narrow cobblestone streets, outdoor eateries and cafes, a stunning Monolithic Church, Collosseum-type walls and numerous shops offering wine and wine tastings, colorful macaroons and local handicrafts.

As our group continues on this amazing journey through the southwest of France, traveling by bus through small villages and forest roads, the sharing of business ideas is even more profuse than the wine tastings. I sit back, very comfortable in our Mercedes bus, in awe of the people, the history, the lessons and the hospitality, and full of gratitude for this very unique travel experience.

Our group tour continues to the Castle of Poudenas next, so come back tomorrow to experience this 14^th century castle, the lessons to be shared and the adventures that await!

Now this is business travel at its best!

To receive a free copy of our ebook, 70 Secrets to Safe Travel — Because Your Life Can Change in a Heartbeat, and for more travel savvy info to help you travel smarter, safer and with more enjoyment, visit SmartWomenTravelers.com and PearlsofTravelWisdom.com.

Oftentimes when people hear about the topic of volunteering while on vacation, they automatically think of opportunities abroad. While there are an abundance of volunteer projects internationally, there are also many not far from your own home. VolunTourism – combining travel with volunteer work – is becoming a trendy way to give back while on a business or personal trip.

Whether you are interested in rebuilding homes in New Orleans, saving manatees in Florida or preserving the wilderness in the Midwest, there are numerous resources ready to help you with planning travel volunteer opportunities in the USA.

The work doesn’t have to be all sweat producing and backbreaking either. For instance, there are volunteer projects for researching calving of whales in Maui. And you also don’t need to dedicate three weeks to build a home. There are many opportunities for “bite-sized” volunteer gigs lasting a few hours, a day or a few days.

Volunteer opportunities include:

• animal welfare,
• community building/rebuilding,
• environmental protection,
• scientific research, health and safety,
• children’s or senior’s issues

Here are some resources to help you plan a “giving back” during your travels:

Volunteer Match. Volunteer Match is an organization helping connect people with good causes. They support a variety of nonprofit projects, all committed to civic purposes. Over 76,000 nonprofit organizations have used Volunteer Match to showcase their needs and opportunities. This is my go-to site to review volunteer activities in the city I’m traveling to, as well as opportunities right at home.

Turtle Teams. Sea turtles are threatened due to overdevelopment at nesting beaches. Turtles Teams is the coined name for all the groups whose goal is to help save sea turtles. To find out more, visit the Sea Turtle Restoration Project or Island Turtle Team. Most of these smaller groups appreciate help, even if only for one night when the sea turtles come out to nest.

Appalachian Trail Conservancy. In exchange for food and bare-bones accommodations, volunteers help with trail building and maintenance of the 2,000-mile long Appalachian Trail, home to nearly a couple thousand threatened and endangered species.

Habitat for Humanity. According to JustGive.org, Habitat for Humanity has helped build 30,000 homes across the United States since 1976. They welcome all volunteers to help rebuild simple and affordable homes for those in need. My husband and I worked on a Habitat house in New Orleans as part of my then-company’s give-back days during our annual meeting. (I hope the siding we nailed to the house is still attached!).

Student Conservation Association (SCA). Interns and volunteers of SCA, America’s oldest and largest conservation organization, put in over one million hours per year conserving the national parks, urban areas, forests and refuges throughout the U.S.

Sierra Club. Members of the Sierra Club, an influential grassroots environmental organization, fight to save valuable wildlife areas. Through their Sierra Club Outings arm, the club offers family and multi-generational trips in places such as New York city parks to rugged backcountry in the west. With accommodations ranging from base camps, campgrounds or lodges, you’ll be sure to find the right choice.

Help X. In exchange for food and accommodations, volunteers help with all sorts of tasks for organic farms, B&Bs, hostels and sailing vessels. In a typical arrangement, volunteers “work” for four hours to receive a meal and lodging.

Lean on Me, Inc. Lean on Me, Inc is a local community whose goal is decreasing the causes of domestic violence and homelessness in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. They are always in need of volunteers donating time to conduct workshops, lend a voice as a guest speaker, or serve as a tutor.

Nature Corps. The Nature Corps, previously known as the Sousson Foundation, has been going strong since 1987 assisting with rehabilitation and preservation of the wilderness ecosystem in California’s Parks system. Weekend or extended volunteer opportunities are available through their award-winning volunteer vacation opportunities.

Cheap Tickets. Every month the Cheap Tickets website provides special deals on vacation and volunteerism hot spots. They teamed up with the United Way to add a day (or more) of volunteer opportunities to planned travel trips. Interested volunteers can search by state or by social cause to help local disaster areas or work with youth, to name a couple.

These groups are just a few of the thousands of organizations who would love to hear from you. Doing this with a friend, colleague, or a whole group volunteering together makes the time even more fun.

My alma mater, Deloitte, has an annual IMPACT Day where tens of thousands of company employees across the United States participate in hundreds of projects. Many organizations have similar give-back days or support individual service efforts so check with your corporate office.

Volunteering during your travels is a win–win event for all. It provides a rewarding opportunity and releases some of the stress of business travel or vacation by focusing on others. Added benefits: You have more great stories from your trip along with unique insight into real issues that exist every day. Those benefits are priceless.

Before you finalize your itinerary and agenda for upcoming travels, use these ideas to seek an opportunity that’s near and dear to your heart. Your travels will be greatly enhanced when you have helped others.

To receive a free copy of our ebook, 70 Secrets to Safe Travel — Because Your Life Can Change in a Heartbeat, and for more travel savvy info to help you travel smarter, safer and with more enjoyment, visit SmartWomenTravelers.com and PearlsofTravelWisdom.com.

Valentine’s Day is about the worst day of the year to be eating dinner alone in a restaurant, if you can even get into a nice restaurant. Surrounded by lovey-dovey couples, it’s easy to feel like the loneliest person on the planet. You miss your loved one and want to be with him. You don’t want to be watching all the hand-holding and kissing going on everywhere you look. Deep in thought, you might question why you travel at all or have thoughts of finding a new career where you’d never again be away from home on special days like this.

Before you hang up your TSA-bag of liquids for good and swear off travel, here are some survival tips for spending a Valentine’s Day away from your loved one:

1. Plan a dinner with friends or co-workers who are also ‘going solo’ for the evening. A few years ago I had dinner with four co-workers, all women but one. We easily got a large table at a restaurant (who else wanted a table for 5?), one red rose (which we gave to our male friend), and had a great time.
2. Ask your hotel if they offer in-room massage services and enjoy an evening of pampering in the privacy of your room.



3. Hang out at the nearest mall. Nothing like a little shopping to take the glum out of your evening, and pick up a special something for your partner for when you get back home.
4. Pick up a bouquet of flowers, or even just one red rose, for your hotel room to give it a more special feeling. Of course, if your honey sends flowers to your hotel, all the better!
5. Spend the evening on the phone with your spouse or partner. Have a ‘remember why I feel in love with you‘ conversation. Yes, you’ll feel sad when you hang up, but you’ll have happy loving memories to help you fall asleep.
6. Better than a phone call, get on Skype video call with your partner and do your own air-kissing and hugging across the miles.
7. Order a glass of wine from room service (heck, order the whole bottle!) and read a good book while in a bubble bath.

So what will I be doing on the evening of Valentine’s Day when I’m 5,000 miles away from my husband? I think I’ll go with Survival Tips 4, 6 and 7. First the flowers, then the Skype call, followed up with a long relaxing soak in the tub.

How about you?

I’m an author and travel writer and have been in a relationship for 14 years. We both frequently travel for work, most of the time separately.

It seems that any relationship, whether an intimate relationship or work, revolves around two factors: trust and communication. Any relationship worth its weight needs to have both of these qualities intertwined or there are going to be breakdowns.

I recently wrote the book, ‘A Guide to Becoming the 60-Second Lover,’ because I witnessed many of my friends and colleagues having communication issues. Of course, I had my share of communication breakdowns earlier in life and still find myself learning better methods to communicate my desires.

I often wondered if there was a manual to help me, and my friends, master the art of love through better communication. Oh yes, I have friends that have written manuals and many others that have read books on how to improve your love life… but they all seemed so long and so much work. Wasn’t there a condensed version, a cliff note version?

I couldn’t find what I wanted so I created my own cliff notes for love. I began jotting down quick and thoughtful ways to connect with my lover in a fun and exciting way, whether I was home or on the road. Most of the ideas took 60 seconds or less to perform, which is where the name came from.

In our fast paced world we need to find easy and fun solutions to connect with our lovers. In my relationship either my husband or I are on the road. If we’re not on the road then we’re working 12-14 hours a day. We needed to get focused and take time for our love life.

Here are some examples for rekindling your love:

• Call and make a date. When you make the call don’t talk about anything else, just make the date. Arrange to meet up at your favorite restaurant, bar, tennis club or even the backyard. If you’re out of town set the date after your return.
• Texting. Convey how much you appreciate your mates thoughtfulness. A nice text, out of the blue, will put a smile on anyone’s face. Being appreciative is respectful and loving.
• Massage. If you’re together, take 60 seconds and give your mate a temple massage. Don’t say anything, just give of your time. An unselfish act never goes unnoticed.

One of the most crucial concepts of loving communication is to keep your special moments singular. Multi-tasking while trying to say ‘I love you’ is not effective. Be in the moment, even if it is for only a couple minutes.

Stay on point with the topic, don’t stray to chores, the daily grind, etc. Keep the communication light and fun. Sometimes, remembering the initial phase of our relationship will bring back ideas of how to connect in a fun and loving way. If you want to shoot the breeze about the day and the daily grind do it in a separate communication.

Remember when you first feel in love? There was an element of mystery. I’ve got to say, my experience has shown that men love mystery in a woman. Don’t get this confused with obscurity. One time when I picked up my husband at the airport I had my nightgown underneath my coat. When we were exiting the airport I showed him the top of my nighty. Boy did he love that mystery! He never knows what to expect from me, and that is the mystery.

Interested in more 60 Second Lover tips from Sue? Get her book at www.serapublishing.com.

And for great tips on finding a relationship when you’re on the road, read Finding a Relationship When You Frequently Travel.

Valentine’s Day is approaching – a day that women who are not in a relationship, and want to be, really do not look forward to. Add in frequent travel to the equation and many of these women send me pleas of, “How do I find someone when I’m traveling all the time?”

So I asked professional relationship coaches, online dating gurus and other women travelers for their advice.

Joyce Morley, Ed.D. of doctorjoyce.com starts off with a great point of it being “imperative that traveling professional business women first have a sense of what they are looking for in a partner, before they start the search for someone to engage in a relationship. If she is not clear within herself as to what she is looking for, traveling can bring about feelings of intense loneliness and a sense of desperation. Desperation will put her in a position of believing that she has to look for and have somebody, causing her to settle for anybody, without stability and commitment.”

I couldn’t agree with Dr. Morley more. Men can sense the desperation in a woman a mile away. And it doesn’t bode well for a relationship when a woman just wants to find ‘somebody’ without really knowing the characteristics that would match what she’s looking for.

Jasbina Ahluwalia Founder & President Intersections Match is a lawyer-turned entrepreneur, dating coach and matchmaker. Her recommendations for meeting someone while traveling include:

• Instead of viewing those inevitable travel lines (checking in, customer service, security, dining establishments, hotels, cab lines, etc.) as wasted time, turn lemons into lemonade and seize the opportunity to confidently and warmly initiate conversations while in line.
• Do the same with your plane/train fellow passengers–you never know!  The gentleman or lady in 5C may be (or know) a great person to introduce you to…and travelers guards tend to be lowered while outside of their day-to-day

Sue Richter of www.SeraPublishing.com is an author and travel writer. Sue says that “one of the best places to meet people is in a coffee shop. I can’t tell you how many men have come up to me and started talking to me, even with a ring on my finger. If you’re single and looking for companionship, find out from the locals where the hot spot coffee shop is and go work from there. Bring your laptop, set up shop and look around. You’ll be amazed!”

I know someone who created a business partnership with the guy standing behind her at Starbucks, so Sue probably has something here!

For frequent female travelers who long for connection in far-flung locales, here are some tips from relationship advisor and psychologist Dr. Terri Orbuch (known as the Love Doctor) at drterrithelovedoctor.com:

Contact your alumni association. Alumni associations have clubs and events in most major cities. It’s an automatic “in” for you, and you’ll find yourself among like-minded people. If you don’t feel connected to your own college, check out the parent networking groups for the college/university your child attends.

Meet up with fellow worshipers. If you’re a member of a church, synagogue, or mosque, find one in the city you’ll be visiting. These organizations often offer social events, discussion groups, and talks – and they’ll welcome a fresh face from out of town.

(Another traveler, Casandra Roach of www.InspireMany.com, agrees with this. Casandra, always on the go, still finds time to be active in her church. Says Casandra, “I believe church is a perfect place to find someone “safe” . . .Someone who can share in core values.”)

Go to college. Find the nearest college or university in the town you’ll be visiting and check out their free activities online. They are rich places for interesting lectures, teas, films, theatre events, and more — and you’re apt to meet interesting people.

Be a culture vulture. Look at the calendar of the city you’ll be visiting for interesting events. Try to find ones that list “reception following” the film, talk, tour, etc. The less sitting and watching, and the more doing and interacting that’s involved, the more likely you are to meet fun and like-minded people.

Use your network. Social networking isn’t just for armchair travelers. Post a notice on your LinkedIn or Facebook page that you’ll be in Houston on such-and-such a date and are looking to for an interesting dinner/hiking/museum companion.

Join a tour. Go to a museum or zoo or historical attraction and join a tour that features a docent. By the end of the tour, you’ll have met others with similar interests, and you might be able to strike up an introductory conversation, such as, “Hi, I’m here on business by myself. Have you lived here long? Where’s a good place to eat and a fun place to walk around?”

No matter where you may search for and find a relationship, Dr. Joyce sums it up with more important points for a traveling woman looking for a relationship, and answer the question as to where the ideal partner will live:

A woman should choose a partner who is secure in himself, is willing to sacrifice time with each other, and is willing to compromise in order to go beyond what might be usual and customary, in order to be together. He must be willing to drive or fly to where she is on many occasions.

It is important that the traveling woman seeks a partner who is either at her home base or her most frequently traveled destination. Having a partner at home or one who will be at the most frequent destination allows for a greater level of continuity and consistency in the relationship.

I’d add to Dr. Joyce’s great advice with choosing a partner who has full trust in you, even when you’re on the road. It’s a very special person who can be comfortable in a relationship when one partner may be away for many nights in a year.

So get clear on what you’re looking for, spend time detailing out your ideal partner’s characteristics, and follow these tips to find the love of your life – even with frequent travel!

Resources:

Joyce Morley, Ed.D.
JMorley Productions, Inc., Decatur, GA
Author, Radio/TV Show Host; Motivational/Keynote Speaker; Psychotherapist; Relationship Expert; Executive/Relationship/Life Coach
www.doctorjoyce.com

Jasbina Ahluwalia
Founder & President Intersections Match
Twitter: http://twitter.com/Intersections

Sue Richter
Author/Travel Writer
www.SeraPublishing.com

Terri Orbuch PhD
Research professor and psychologist, known as The Love Doctor.
A popular love advisor on radio, TV, and peoplemedia.com, seen on NBC’s Today.
Her newest book is 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great (Random House).
www.drterrithelovedoctor.com.

Casandra L Roache,MPH
WellCoach
www.InspireMany.com

To receive a free copy of our ebook, 70 Secrets to Safe Travel — Because Your Life Can Change in a Heartbeat, and for more travel savvy info to help you travel smarter, safer and with more enjoyment, visit SmartWomenTravelers.com and PearlsofTravelWisdom.com.

I’ve heard a lot about the Free Hug Campaign through my trainings with Jack Canfield (co-Author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series), and a lot of hugging goes on every time our group is with Jack.

The Free Hug Campaign, started back in 2004 by an Australian man known only by the pseudonym “Juan Mann”, is a social movement involving individuals who offer hugs to strangers in public places. The campaign became famous internationally in 2006 as the result of a music video on YouTube by the Australian band Sick Puppies. The hugs are meant to be random acts of kindness – selfless acts performed just to make others feel better.

The ‘official’ International Free Hugs Day is celebrated on the first Saturday of July. I’m glad the Glasgow group was out hugging today and didn’t wait for the ‘official’ day. And I hope they were able to brighten up the day for a lot of Glasgow shoppers.

To receive a free copy of our ebook, 70 Secrets to Safe Travel — Because Your Life Can Change in a Heartbeatand for more travel savvy info to help you travel smarter, safer and with more enjoyment, visit www.SmartWomenTravelers.com and www.PearlsofTravelWisdom.com

My daughter was famous for this. At any time – and usually when I was at my most tired state of body and mind – I could hear, “It’s because you’re never home!” These words literally felt like a stab to my heart. Even though my kids are now in their 20’s, I still remember these days like they were yesterday.

I have always wished that there had been two of me, one to stay at home with the family and one to be traveling. Since cloning of people wasn’t an option, I packed my bag and off I went. I love my kids, love my work, love the travel and love the income that has been able to provide well for us. I just don’t love the pang of feeling my own self-inflicted guilt or hearing the “because you’re never home” words.

I did several things that helped keep the connection with all of us. So much more can be done with the technology available today. Here are a few ideas if you find yourself in this gut-wrenching situation:

• Bring your kids along if and when you can. Bring your spouse, nanny or other caregiver to be with them while you’re working. Or ask your hotel’s concierge for assistance in bringing in a trustworthy, proven, recommended child care provider to be with them at the hotel.

I would bring along the kids’ nanny, arrange for room service to be brought in at lunch time and then spend the evening with them, keeping the working hours as limited as possible. This works well when the kids were on a school break and are old enough to keep themselves occupied with games and movies.

One of my kids’ first stays was at a Holiday Inn in Minneapolis. For months after that, every time they’d see a Holiday Inn sign, they’d yell “Minneapolis!” no matter what city we were in.

Hotels with kitchens or kitchenettes are great because you can bring in a few of their favorite food items and keep things in the refrigerator. A favorite hotel when bringing along the kids is the Residence Inn and similar type of property.

• Try to work your schedule to be home on their important days – birthdays, first day of school, etc. Also read up on 3 Simple Ways to Take the Pain Out of Business Travel – for Traveling Moms.
• Set up Skype-time in the evenings to talk about their day, go over homework, plan the next day and just talk. Give each child their own time with you on the phone, even set up different calls for each one (kids love a special call just for them).
• Have one-on-one time with each child when you are home. Take them out to breakfast or lunch or go shopping. Again, they love private time with mom. This is also the time when any issues brewing with your child hopefully come out so you can address them when you’re having a relaxed time together.
• Go over your schedule with them as to the actual hours that you’ll really not be available to them while you’re away. For example, if you weren’t traveling, you’d see them at breakfast and dinner and a few hours in the evenings. The rest of the time, they’d be in school and you’d be at an office. For each day away, this might add up to maybe 4-5 hours that you’re not with your family (realistically even less if your kids are anything like mine and love to hide away in their bedrooms).

Replace this with a call in the morning before school, and a longer Skype session in the evening. Yes, you have a deficit of a dozen hours or so for the days you’ll be away, but that’s a much easier amount of time to bear than saying it was an entire four days that you’re weren’t around.

• Talk with your children’s teachers and agree on a communication method. Some schools offer online access to homework assignments and upcoming projects, which is great whether you’re on the road or not. Otherwise, arrange for emails or phone calls on a regular basis. Even though your kids may not like you communicating with their teachers, it is a great way to keep on top of schoolwork and helps squash your child’s excuse that they didn’t get a project done because mom wasn’t around to remind them of it.
• Come up with alternatives to some of your business trips. Teleconferences, working at home when your project or tasks will allow it, and brainstorming alternative ways to be efficient with the travel while getting your work accomplished are all ideas that usually can reduce the travel a bit.

For example, I was implementing inventory control systems for years. I found that most companies really struggled with managing their inventory counts once the implementation had been completed.

Instead of me traveling back and forth to these companies for further work, I created a business model for assisting companies remotely, a few hours each week per company. This was less overwhelming to them, we could really focus on constant improvements, and it allowed me to work from home more often.

If you’re not sure if your boss will go with the idea of less travel, read the The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferris. There are tons of great ideas on how to approach more remote work with your employer.

There’s no way to remove all of the guilt we moms inflict upon ourselves as we stare out the plane window flying away from home or sitting in our hotel room at night after a long day of business meetings. Hopefully these ideas will plant some seeds on ways that you and your kids can stay more connected even when miles physically separate you.

And if you want to know how my kids turned out, even with a mom who traveled much of their lives – well, they’re wonderful adults now, independent, hard-working, well-traveled, and a true joy to be with. And my daughter, who could really throw the heart-wrenching daggers when she was a teenager, now considers me her best friend.

To receive a free copy of our ebook, 70 Secrets to Safe Travel — Because Your Life Can Change in a Heartbeatt and for more travel savvy info to help you travel smarter, safer and with more enjoyment, visit SmartWomenTravelers.com and PearlsofTravelWisdom.com

Enjoy!

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Rolling out of bed at 3:30 am, it was way too early to get even a cup of coffee in the hotel lounge. But I was ready to run. Thanks to Delta Air Lines and Flyertalk, I was going to be an airline gate agent for the day, one of a group that has been looking forward to this day for months.

Hours before daybreak, we boarded the hotel shuttle bus and headed to Hartsfield-Jackson airport in Atlanta, Delta’s headquarters. Wearing our temporary Delta badges, we were whisked through the short TSA line for employees. Oh how I wish this badge was permanent!

Once in the T (Tango) terminal, we walked the secret behind-the-scenes path to our meeting room for the morning briefing. Each of us was paired with an experienced gate agent or Red Coat, Delta’s premier on-the-floor service providers. I was assigned to Tamika. Trust me, it was my lucky day.

My gate was in the terminal known to insiders as Bravo South, one of the busiest. We would be working Bravo 4, what the public sees as gate B4. Tamika quickly got everything set up because she knew a flight from Newark would be arriving shortly.

A few minutes later, she said, “The plane is here.” I still don’t know how she knew that. We had no windows and I heard only a faint sound of what was probably an aircraft outside. Chalk that up to experience, I guess.

For arriving aircraft, it is the gate agent’s responsibility to drive the jetway to the plane. With experience as a ramper (airline ground crew) and former tug driver [the tug is that golf cart looking thing that actually pushes the huge aircraft back from the gate], Tamika operated the jetway flawlessly until it reached the plane. Then she opened the 1L door and quickly ran back up the ramp to meet the arriving passengers.

I shadowed her during all this but wasn’t allowed to operate the jetway. The reason, one small mistake could do serious damage to the plane. As Tamika explained: If that happens, they just hand you a cup and give you the day off pending results. Ah ha, best to leave jetway driving to the experts.

Now my work began. As an experienced flyer and frequent visitor to Atlanta, it was easy assisting passengers as they came off the plane. Most needed help finding their connecting gates but Delta made it easy by providing a flight information display screen just as passengers exited the jetway. Since many were asking about the same connecting flights, I memorized the gates quickly.

Others passengers needed directions to baggage claim, restrooms, and the SkyClub, Delta’s lounge. Again my familiarity with the airport was helpful. No doubt the passengers assumed I was just another Delta employee but really, there was no time to explain.

With all the passengers and crew off the plane, now my hard work would begin. In only a few minutes, we would fill the aircraft with another set of travelers.

Passengers were already lined up at the gate counter. Some inquired about changing seats so families could sit together, others wanted to know about their upgrade status, still more just wanted seat assignments while a few were trying to fly standby.

Here the multi-screen computer system behind the counter is quite helpful. Available seats are very easy to see and a simple drag-and-drop with a mouse can move passengers around with ease.

For upgrades to first class, however, there is a specific procedure and while it is easy to jump a passenger ahead of another on the list, this can come back to haunt a gate agent. Very simply, they value their jobs too much to make unilateral changes. Well, at least that is true here. I can’t comment on other airlines.

Boarding is supposed to begin at T-30 (thirty minutes before departure) but we had a delay. There were some maintenance issues with the aircraft but no way to know how long they may take to resolve. Boarding was suspended and everyone left waiting.

Finally at nearly T-20, we began pre-flight boarding for passengers in wheel chairs, families with very young children, and others needing assistance or extra time to board. This was quickly followed by Premium boarding, passengers in first class.

Now about T-15, we boarded coach class seats, beginning with Zone 1 and continuing through Zone 4. I scanned the boarding passes but learned I was too slow. In part it was because I was speaking with each passenger – saying good morning, thanks for flying Delta, etc – and in part because of surprise how many did not have seat assignments already.

Another delay in boarding was because every passenger sitting in an exit row seat has to be asked if they are okay with that and familiar with the rules. The flight attendants also ask this once everyone is onboard but rules require that passengers are asked by both gate agents and flight attendants. Time consuming but deemed to be a necessary safety procedure.

Tamika was watching the clock at every minute. As the gate agent, she is responsible for getting the plane out on time so the clock is her primary enemy. Any delays, she gets written up for it and has to provide an explanation. Yes, they are very serious about on-time departures.

After the final boarding pass was scanned, the jetway was totally clogged but Tamika knew what to do. Asking passengers to move to the right, she skirted down the left side of the jetway to speak with the flight attendants about available overhead compartment space. It looked like some bags would have to be gate checked.

With tags already in hand, Tamika began completing them for a few passengers. The ground crew would place those bags in a special compartment in the underside of the aircraft. Most important, the passengers were onboard at the magic moment of T-5.

Tamika completed the paperwork, delivered it to the flight deck, and closed the boarding door at T-3, the goal of every flight. With a deep sigh, she brought the jetway back from the plane and we walked up the ramp to await our next arrival aircraft. All I could do was shake my head in awe.

And so it went throughout the shift. We worked nearly five hours – on our feet the entire time – without even a potty break. Funny, it felt like only about an hour and I never did get my coffee, much less any breakfast.

I am sure it was just another long morning for Tamika but as much as my feet hurt, I could have gone another twelve hours. Adrenaline is a wonderful thing sometimes.

Between passengers, Tamika taught me so much about the gate agent role. She answered all my questions as time permitted but I finished the shift with dozens more unanswered. Like so many of my peers, I really wanted to go back and do it again. And again. And again.

The days in Atlanta flew by (sorry about that pun). Thanks to Delta, we also had the opportunity to meet with their top executives, fly in their flight simulators, had two days of training to experience some of the role of flight attendants and emergency procedures, and tours of virtually all their facilities including the control towers.

Like all flying passengers, I go to the airport, wait in endless and sometimes humiliating TSA lines, then head to my gate. I fly from point A to point B, thinking little about anything other than arriving at my destination on time.

But sometimes there is a disconnect between passenger expectations and an airline’s ability to deliver. I have suffered through many delayed and canceled flights and can appreciate how unnerving this can be when it means missing an important event.

However, I also know safety is the airline’s number one concern. No airline wants to disappoint passengers with flight delays – remember, it cost them lots of money – but under no circumstance will any airline sacrifice safety for speed. They would much rather deal with customer complaints than customer injuries.

Only a few days removed from my experience, I am ready to go back. My real-world business trek next week will take me through the Southern capital once again but I will allow additional time for my connecting flight. I now have friends – no, make that family – at ATL.

Next time you fly, think about some of these things. It will help you get through some of the stress and make you a better passenger. I know I will be a better passenger for what I learned.

Many thanks to Delta and my friends at Flyertalk for this incredible opportunity. It truly was a most memorable event that will remain in my mind forever.

*************************************************************

Back to Carol again.

Our wedding anniversary happened to be during this Delta Airlines / FlyerTalk event. Though we both would have liked to be together on this occasion, I was just wrapping up a business trip while Bruce had just begun this event in Atlanta. As much as he and I like to travel, this was an excellent opportunity for him. Our anniversary could easily be celebrated a few days later.

But look who he spent time with on our anniversary day – Katherine Lee (aka Deltalina)! If you fly Delta, you will immediately recognize her. She’s the finger-wagging flight attendant who broadcasts the safety video at the beginning of each flight.

Some spouses might be jealous but I know my husband was having the time of his life at this event. I was happy to share him with Deltalina and 100 flight-addicts!

Just don’t let it happen again next year, Dear!!

_____

If I had to rate the most heart-wrenching days to be away from home, they’d be:

• Your child’s birthday
• Your child’s first day of school
• Your child’s graduation
• Your spouse’s birthday
• Your anniversary
• Your birthday
• Thanksgiving/Christmas
• Halloween
• New Year’s Eve
• Valentine’s Day
• School meetings such as Meet the Teachers
• Your child’s field trip days

Over my years of business travel, I have missed most of these; all except Thanksgiving and Christmas. Many of these I have missed numerous times.

Holidays such as these don’t happen to fall nicely on Saturdays and Sundays when most of us are home from our travels. Nor do they always fall on a Monday or Friday, where we could perhaps modify our travel schedule by a day so we can participate in these events. No, they like to fall on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays – smack in the middle of a conference, business meetings or sales calls.

In the last week, I have missed being home for my anniversary and Halloween. My husband left for a business trip on the morning of our anniversary, and I got home from my trip later that evening. Being away from home on our anniversary is sad, but this is a day that can easily be made up on a day before or after a business trip.

And today, as I write this, it is Halloween.

Halloween was one of my saddest days, and most anxious days, to be away from home when my kids where young. Frantic morning phone calls as they were looking for their Mickey Mouse ears, or black eye patch or whatever missing costume piece went astray was crazy. I’d be a thousand miles away and trying to help get them in their Halloween garb over the phone. But that was easy compared to missing the annual event of trick-or-treating with them. Walking house-to-house with them, enjoying their excitement as they get the goodies from each neighbor, is soooo fun. Meeting up with other parents, ooh’ing and aah’ing over little kids’ customs was great. This is a holiday that doesn’t lend itself to making up at another day, unless there is a pre-Halloween event while you’re still home.

Really, any of the days where your kids are involved are the saddest to be away. With birthdays, you can ease your sadness in these ways:

Celebrate via Skype as they blow out the candles on their cake;

Send them a special gift that’s delivered on their birthday (kids love getting a package via mail or delivery);

Having a special pre- or post-business trip celebration – this gives them a chance to celebrate twice (something no child will decline!).

Have your child write in the journal about their feelings, their events and their gifts, and set aside private time upon your return home for your child to share this.

Missing the first day of school, field trip days and school meetings all pull at the heart strings. On these days it’s easy to feel like the worst parent on the planet. Non-working parents of other students don’t help the situation when they give you the evil eye and look of scorn. I had a few PTA moms who were especially good at this.

A few words of wisdom on lightening your bag of guilt:

• Know that a special 24 hours can be moved up or back by a few days and be even more special.
• Plan ahead, leave little gifts all around the house on birthday or anniversary days so your loved one is finding them throughout their day.
• Arrange for a special friend or family member to celebrate in your place.
• Appoint a photographer or videographer for the event so that the special day is recorded.
• Celebrate together via telephone, video, text message, or all of the above. A Skype party is great!
• Have a special private day with your child or spouse upon your return home. These days can often be more special than the actual date because they have your undevoted attention.
• Plan your business travels so that you’re home on as many special days as possible, including one field trip day a year. Going along on one school field trip is more than most stay-at-home parents do!
• If your family’s schedule allows for it, bring them along on your business trip and celebrate in a new city.
• If your schedule allows it, fly home for the day, then go out again the next day.
• Pick up a gift or two of local flavor for a birthday or other holiday (i.e. a small piñata or a special food). This is a great learning opportunity of other cultures.
• Celebrate by yourself. I enjoyed a glass of wine on my solo anniversary evening. I toasted my wonderful husband from afar. Then we celebrated together when we were both home.
• Write in your own journal – your feelings, what you’re grateful for and words you’d want to share with your family.
• Connect with other parents feeling the same pangs of being away from home (our community at Smart Women Travelers can help with this!)
• Be grateful for having the work that you do that allows you to travel, have new experiences and share them with your family.

By being creative, being flexible, and focusing on the time you do have together, you’ll get through these heart-wrenching days a bit easier. And remember the air miles and hotel points you’re collecting for your next big family vacation together!